Looking at my life back just few days when I only had Krausse, sleepless nights made me cry and I imagined that my relationship with sleep will never be the same again. To those who knew me well, I love my sleep. 5 years had passed, 3 kids, you might say that I’m definitely not sleeping anymore, which sometimes actually is the case, but I found greater sense of what it actually means to be a mother.
This brings me back to why I always wanted to have a child at an earlier age. I’m looking at a future when my children and I can actually connect in a very special way. When my eldest, Krausse, hits young adulthood (13 years old) I should just be about mid-30s (not bad!).
However, this is not always applicable to anyone. When you have a child, you go beyond leaps and bounds; you go far beyond your limitations. I gave up a LOT of things. For me, they were worldly things. I gave up working in corporate to take care of my children. I never looked back on my dream of becoming a doctor someday, because I know I’d be spending countless number of hours working. I have placed my family and children as a priority. It scared me on a lot of different levels. I know these things will bring financial security to my family, but I believe that God called me for a better purpose.
So here are the 5 things that I would love to share to you today on how you can be a mom that God you to be.
#1 Seek Christ first
In every endeavor, you have seek Christ first. Even in our marriage, we struggle. We’re neither perfect, we fight, we disagree on a LOT of things but in our day-to-day challenges, we have learned to put our relationship with Christ first in check. It brought us closer together as a couple.
The same goes with being a mother. You are the most influential figure for your child in your family. Seeking Christ and having Christ-like characteristics is something that your children will witness. Pray. Pray. Pray and fight your battles in prayer. (If you don’t know how to start having that personal relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ, do this today.)
#2 Set your foundations right
Today’s service message for mother’s day hit home for me. A wise mother builds on a Godly foundation. Jesus spoke about this on Matthew 7:24-27.
24Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock:
25And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock.
This is the reason why we ought to read the bible. This is the reason why we need to be filled with God’s word. Reading the bible is not being religious. It’s your blueprint. It’s your guide.
When you do not know your foundations, you can easily be side-tracked with what the world wants to you deem as important. It’s your ultimate manual. Take the time to read it.
Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore.
#3 Tired? Stressed? Refuel.
We all want that getaway at the beach,unwind from all the daily stress. With 3 kids, I can say, moments like these more like an added stress. Of course, we can still spend those times and create memories but as a mom, we need to recharge. Do not be afraid to take that time out.
For me, I don’t need to go fancy and all. I just need a quite room, few minutes of silence where I can let my thoughts wander and pray. We need to return to the source of our strength, and go back to #1. That’s Christ.
Jesus carried more weight on His shoulders. Did he run to Starbucks or a smothered in barbecue ribs? No, he ran to the arms of the Father. On Matthew 26, Jesus was no exception but he prayed for refuge.
38 Then saith he unto them, My soul is exceeding sorrowful, even unto death: tarry ye here, and watch with me.
39 And he went a little further, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt.
#4 Impose discipline
This is critical. But the scripture clearly says:
6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
You have to be on the same page with your partner. Setting clear rules about rewards and punishment. Only two rules that we impose in the household: to obey and to respect. Children will break something or make a mess but it happens BUT that that doesn’t mean you have to spank them if they break something. We need to go back to the core of obedience and respect.
15 Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.
It’s also hard to impose punishments. It breaks my hear to hear my children cry or get hurt but there are also rules that you need to set for yourself in disciplining your children.
You put a lot of rules. Your children will not be successful in them. As mentioned, we only have two: obedience and respect.
You need to have that special discipline stick or belt solely for that purpose.
You don’t spank when you’re angry. NEVER. Your emotions will consume you and that’s going to be abuse.
Always, process. Talk to your child, why they will get spanked. What line they have crossed. I like to remind them that what they’ve done was disrespectful or if they’re being disobedient.
Most important of all, you don’t discipline, if you haven’t been present or conveyed that you love your children. Love must be instilled first before any form of discipline becomes effective.
I could share some more but I could put it into another post.
#5 Know that you are working for a greater purpose
It is a difficult task to be a parent. You have to be fully present for your children’s physical, emotional and spiritual needs. But know that you are doing it for a greater purpose that all things work towards the greater glory of God.
We have a role that we cannot delegate and we are accountable to how our children would grow. My children will eventually make choices but it’s up to me to remind them that they will soon be accountable to their own actions.
If you’re having a hard time right now and nothing seems to be working how you should want it to be, surrender it to the Lord. Let Him lead you in your parenting journey.
You may not reap the results right away but fret not, He’s got your back.
28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
Your turn? What makes you doubt in your role as mother? What keeps you going?